10 Things We Learned During The 2009 NBA Playoffs

Things didn't end up the way I wanted them to. Actually, it was more like a nightmare in that everything was opposite of how I would have like it. However, I did learn these 10 Things During The NBA Playoffs:

Honorable Mention:

-Stan van Gundy is the only NBA coach who owns turtlenecks.

-The Portland Trailblazers weren't quite ready.

-The NBA has like 14 different types of fouls.

-The 'Redeem Team' made the NBA 10 times more competetive.

-Dwight Howard doesn't have post moves.

-"The Birdman" gets higher (pun intended) than any other white guy.

-Puppets are cool.

-Jeff van Gundy is hilarious.

10. Chauncey Billups is a force in the locker room. When Denver traded Iverson away to bring back the hometown boy in Billups I was skeptical. Billups is aging just as much as Iverson and I always thought Billups was just an equal piece on the Piston teams. Billups proved himself to be a magician in the locker room. He had to deal with CRAZY ego's. Kenyon Martin, JR Smith, Carmello, Chris 'The Birdman' Anderson, Nene (yes he only goes by one name...like Madonna) and George Karl. Somehow, since he showed up, the Nuggets played like they were the second best team in the NBA. Well done Chauncey.

9. Tattoos are half price in Denver. Just came up with this joke: What's half black, half white and has red lips? Kenyon Martin's neck.

8. Dos Equis now makes the best beer commercials. I had never even heard of Dow Equis until like 6 weeks ago. Now, I tell end conversations with, "Stay thirsty my friends."

7. Greg Oden is a bust. He's terrible. His nickname should be "The Human Foul". It turns out that the movie Benjamin Button was actually based on his life.

6. Derrick Rose will be a super-duper star. He's got the swag. He's got the skills. He knows how to cheat (stay tuned to hear more about how someone else took his SAT's for him).

5. The Spurs dynasty may have come to an end. Hold on, let me grab my Kleenex. (sniff sniff). Ok, they may have one more run in them. But, I doubt it. You can't pick at the bottom of the draft for a decade and continue to play at a championship level. In the past 11 seasons the Spurs have 4 titles and the Lakers have 4 titles. It was a great run. Tim Duncan...you've been good to me.

4. The Lakers own a very big bandwagon. Where were you during the Nick van Exel / Vlade Divac days? Didn't you hate Derek Fisher when he left LA for more money a few years back? Have you completely blocked 'Kobe In Colorado' out of your memory? How can you root for a coach that looks like Colonel Sanders?

3. Hedo Turkoglu is the ugliest man in the NBA. I feel bad for his dopplegangers.

2. Kobe Bryant is one of the top 10 players of all time. I'm man enough to admit it. The other 9 (no particular order): Jordan, Shaq, Bird, Magic, Duncan, Russell, Wilt, West, Oscar.

He's also on the top 10 sleazy list. Right behind Howard Stern, Monica Lewinsky and Jon from Jon and Kate Plus 8.

1. LeBron needs more help. It's way to difficult for him to score 40 every night. By the end of the series with Orlando he looked like he was in a coma.

Side Note: What's worse? Spending 6 months in a coma or spending the rest of your life in Tacoma. You choose!

Ok, back to Lebron. He needs a sidekick. Mo Williams is a GREAT #3 option. He' could easily fill the role that JR Smith, Rashard Lewis and Lamar Odom did for their teams this post season. The Cav's are just missing that one piece. I don't like this talk of them going after Shaq. He's too old. They need to find a guy who is a go to scorer on a bad team right now. Maybe an Antawan Jamison, a Vince Carter or a Richard Jefferson. All of those guys can create their own shot and having them on the court with Lebron would create nasty matchup problems.

Anyways, even though this years NBA season turned out terrible, it was very entertaining and I will miss it. I'm glad that we all learned so much throughout the playoffs this year. Just remember, "Stay Thirsty My Friends".