4 Things I'll Never Do

This is a list (not comprehensive) of things that I will never do. Ever. Like, you'd have to get into six figures before I even entertain your offer. I will never...

4. Watch Twilight This shouldn't need explaining. But in todays world...it does. Why would I want to watch a movie about a girl falling in love with a vampire? This is stupid. Vampires are so unreliable. The only vampire you can count on is Count Dracula from Sesame Street.

3. Disown SportsCenter People often ask me my favorite TV show. I usually give them the pecking order of The Office, LOST, 24 and American Idol. I assume that people realize that SportsCenter is at the top of the list. It's like the Bible on the top of the bestseller list. It's just a given fact that the Bible is the best. Nothing beats SportsCenter.

2. Understand Rugby I have had Australians, Englishmen, New Zealanders, Samoans and even Canadians try and explain this sport to me. I don't understand it...AT ALL. From what I hear the term "rugby" can mean Rugby League, Rugby Union or Australian Rules Football. These are similar but not the same. Kind of like the Triune Godhead. Any game with a "scrum" isn't a game for me.

1. Pull An All Nighter Never done it, don't feel that I'm missing out. I did stay up till 6:00 AM once at my friend Dylan's house. We were playing this game for GameCube called Dirt 2 Daytona. We played Nascar races in their full mode. Like, not in the shortened laps mode. We drove the full 5oo miles of Daytona. Multiple times over. Pretty much ruined any and all desire to stay up all night.